I'm sorry so sorry

I know it's been a while since I've wrote anything. I've been healing the swelling on my right eye finally went down so I can see, the headaches are gone so i can look at bright stuff and the cut in my mouth is healing which means solid foods again and no more soups, and liquids (which suck after a while) also the pain in my hands are gone so I can make a fist and bend my fingers. The only thing that we are worried about is my ribs they thought that I may have broken ribs. I'll explain how I all banged up later. But for now here I go...



I'm sorry but i cant give you what you want. How can i give something that i dont have and that's not mine. I cant give my heart to someone else because it's not mine to give. I have said it a million times and it's the truth, my heart isn't mine. It belongs to her the one I deem worthy, the one I fell in love with.

You all say the same thing, you all say your better then her but in fact your all the same, you say the same thing you just want to use me. Yet not one of you can get me to stop working and look at you for hours or even just say screw it like she does not one of you give off the same scent like she does, one that is sweet like honey, and milk that drives me into heat. One that holds my hand and leads me around and as we touch revitalizes me with her essence.

 You want to try to build me a new heart but you can't my heart is special and nothing can replace it it has a special shape that will only fit one heart. The one I gave to her, the only way for me to get it back is unless she or I die, but I wouldn't let her die, so its until I die and I've tried time and time again to die. Yet she is there to bring me back to life.

I only take orders from her, though she thinks I dont but I do. For the first time in my life i have found someone who is just like me, someone who wants to be free and happy. So she is where my heart is.

Loyalty is hard to find in this world yet I am a loyal dog to her, shes the alpha to our pack, and ill follow her no matter what.

I cant take your hearts because it doesnt feel right, I cant give nothing in return all I have to offer is my body. Yet I dont feel right sleeping with anyone other then her. My soul is something that I cant give away till the day I say I do. So I cant take your hearts i cant give what i dont have.

I've never given my heart away before, I've never considered it. Yet when I met her all those years ago I knew she was the one i knew that my life will forever be hers. I know it's stupid but it's how i feel and I'm sorry i cant give my heart away.