where have you been(coming to the stage)

I know I know a lot of you guys have been asking where have you been I havent heard from you in forever. Well let me tell you I dont do social media I have to much to do so off with the media. 

Let's see well if you dont know yet I am married wooooooo!!!!!! We are hitting our first year of marriage and let me tell you this. It was easy, like really easy it was like we were made for each other. We honey mooned in the Maldives because she was in love with the resorts on the beaches there. 

Then we bought our dream house so if you havent seen our house then you need to go to her instagram and see our luscious home that we redid the kitchen in.

But how did you guys do this? Well let me tell you this we literally have our own company and let me tell you this we spend so much time at home relaxing that it isn't funny. We have a 2 floor 3 bedroom. 

So I know a lot of people are also wondering omg you disappeared what was really the case like you never been gone this long.

Well I got rid of social media except for my art accounts. I find it pointless and unnecessary honestly at this point in my life we can go anywhere in the world now. 

I mean she is a manga artist I am a marketing executive now and we are now looking to open up our own printshop so we can print our own shirts, books, and gear because you guessed it I learned how to do it. So life has been busy for us.

Ok now for this are you ready!? Que the space jam theme song. Flash the lights coming in at 19 inches 8lbs and I dont know how many ounces. Hailing from the land of the rising sun Kyoto, Japan born to Japans rising powercouple Seriah-Rein Whitman!!!! Crowd goes wild.

Yes that is right I am father! 

Say what CJ is a daddy?

No let me clear up the air real fast I am the daddy. Like how can i not be excited for this. I mean I am 28 turning 29 i am married i own a freaking house now married to a GD mormon manga artist that balls(yea she got baptized into my church) and think about it we couldnt be happier.

Anyway back to my love! So how did it go down

TAJ in the Maldives it's a resort look it up really beautiful that's when she was conceived! 

But how did you find out?

Fathers day! Like she sent me to play golf with her dad then told me before we went to bed like I just got home and thats when i found out. Let me tell you this I have never seen her mom so happy in the intiraty of her life that happy for a grand baby! 

Like the pregnancy stages were the hardest because she was so wanting it to come. Like she ate pickle sushi (pickle slice with rice) from her favorite sushi place all the time, she even drank sour drinks (she hates sour drinks) she really didnt eat candy (which she always does) and she was a lot freakier in the bedroom!

But doesnt that sound like normally pregnancy?

Guys this is my first, my first late nights. My first baby bump it was new to me. 

So that explains a little  bit.

Yes yes it does, when we did the revealing party she did it on her iG and FB (the facebook has been deleted because she agreed with me on that) every drawing she did was in pink. Or shades of pink (50 shades of pink coming to a store near you) that's our way of saying it's a girl.

Why seriah and how do you pronounce it.

Its said as Sarah but we put a spin on it. We juggled a lot of name combination (she has no middle name that's right we killed it) and we came up with Seriah-Rein. Our precious baby girl. 

So how does it feel?

Guys guys at the hospital we used a lot of morphine for this and that was just for me! But when demi held it for the first time was breathtaking she cried for hours. Like straight bawling this was her first like I was her first everything and I am the first guy to have a baby with her. She couldnt be happier.

Our daughter is a dress up diva she gets it from her mom I guess, she likes to wear her pickachu onsie with the hood and tail. And we even got her a Godzilla one and we have no shortage of clothes and shoes for her (that you mother in law). 

So now you know the pains of a parent?

What pains she sleeps peacefully through the night, doesnt cry unless she is hungry or her diaper otherwise she is a peaceful baby. She likes to laugh and she watch pooka (old japanese cartoon never heard of it google it) we discovered that at a store. She lives for that show, we even went out in search for a pooka binkie. And that has been her favorite since.

I wish I could say we trade off but honestly its hard when we both just want to hold onto her and never let her go. There have been times when we both cry because our never wanting to let her go. Seriah is a loved child when we take her into the company everyone instantly loved her and calls her heiress. Like the three of us are never apart demi comes rushing home to see us and i do the same and it's a constant fight to hold her. But I couldnt be happier to see demi that happy. 

Between seriah being happy baby and Demi living in bliss what could i possible ask for?

adventures

i know i havee been away for a while but here are some of my short adventures ive been in ill be back with more after we come back from New York

Egypt

She took my hand on my birthday, and led me off that plane and into a new place Egypt it was my birthday vacation and I couldnt have been happier. We stayed in front leading me around looking at the wonders of the airport. She looked like a child in a candystore and yet she never let my hand go.

During the trip my whole life was in her hand literally. From the moment I opened my eyes my hand found it's way into hers. My little j-girl when she slept she slept like an angel her pure white skin nuzzled and covered by the white sheets that covered her face. I hated waking her but I love to watch her sleep. I swept hair from her face and she cradled into my hand I tried to be gentle but yet she knows I can't keep my hands off of her. When she wakes its like watching something beautiful the raising of an angel.

From the moment we left my suite to the moment we hit the streets get hand never let go of mine. Yet when it did I could feel loneliness creeping over me, something she felt as well.

We toured the museums, we toured the activities we saw pyramids up close we got to touch them yet he hand stayed entwined in mine.

We didnt want the days to end because we wanted to share them together, we didnt want to sleep we wanted to stay in the moments we were having.

Her eyes at night sparkled and glitters like its entrancing and letting me in. This woman shared the perfect birthday with me not as a friend and not as a girlfriend but as my wife. She was no longer Hirdemi Wada she was now Hirdemi Whitman. The first woman I could say gave it all up for me.

Honeymooning-

We went to the Maldives for our honeymoon, again this time it was our honeymoon. We spent the days in the water floating against the current mesmerised by our rings both fingers covered in gold. I stole glances at her but the sun reflected and radiated her skin perfectly but I could tell my wife had the biggest smile in her face.

We went to see such amazing sites, and I've got them captured in two different ways. Camera and in my memory. We stayed at a resort that literally gave us the honeymoon suite. She loved that room because she she got to see the ocean. She would take me to the sand sit me down and lay in my arms. She loved to talk to me in japanese because she knew I would try for her and it made her happy knowing that i did it for her. Those ending moments of the days in male was us joined together she took the pain away she took the emptiness away with just her lips it all disappeared I felt nothing I felt nothing for the one who threw me away and it was all replaced with her my sweet wife took it all away. The gentle touch of her hands gave me strength her sweet I love you gave me the courage to look on. 2 years and now we have each other.

Our new house-

We stayed in a apartment it was a luxury one it had a really nice set up. It was something not young couples would buy but I bought when I first arrived in Kyoto. She didnt know I was staying until I handed her a key. I took the job that I wanted and a month into it I was forced to resign but that is another story for another time. I told her we have a place not to far out and I had it all set up. Yet I didnt think she liked it she told me she loved it but i felt like we couldn't have a family in it. Months later we went and looked for a new place we came across this beautiful 2 story 2 bedroom 2.5 bathroom next to this beautiful clear lake. She looked me in the eye and told me she wanted it. Who was I to deny her my future bride, during the tour she pictured it all out. Who was I to say no to her who was I to say it was to much. So I made an offer 4 days later we were moved into our new place.

We just had the kitchen redone because we wanted a island counter installed so we had to get permits and inspectors and a whole bunch of stuff and so we did it. Took 4 weeks because we added more to it and it was done. We expanded it and had more space she even got a bay window to over look the water. I catch staring at it with tears falling down her face which I always wipe away. Oh my little j-girl How I love you.

Our sundays-

We are both gamers and artists who love our perspective fields. Yet on sundays we spend them at church a mormon church I never thought she would be so interested in it yet she is. Yet she is so supportive of this that every night before bed we curl up and read our scriptures we ask each other questions and read passages aloud to each other. She dresses respectful gives her all when she is there and she tells me how much she loves it she wants to be baptized into the church so we can have a sealing ceremony in which we are bound together forever. I love the sundays we spend in our house I love attending church she even joined the choir because she felt like she fit in with the church. She never ceases to amaze me.

Friday nights-

Every friday night to end the week we go karaoke with her teammates and some of our friends I buy us a room and we spend 3 hours singing laughing and telling jokes. Demi picks out my songs and I pick out her songs and we sing it in front of the crowd. Sometimes I buy us an extra hour just so we can have more fun and she can be with her friends.

Mr. Ushida-
This guy is like my dad he has been the reason why I am so successful now why my company thrives and I am able to go on trips with demi. I had a place in panama city but I was holding onto a rainbow and chasing pavements so i gave it all up and moved to Kyoto after being there for a couple months I found I was throwing away money traveling between japan and Florida so I gave up that live. I worked as a page layoutist and I was great at my job. Mr. Ushida took a strong liking to me because his gold goose was none other then my beautiful wife she was a great artist and has sold a lot of copies of her manga which I can say I am embarrassed about.

I was there for a month and he called me into his office and told me he would like for me to resign I asked him why I did nothing wrong I did what you asked of me and never complained. He told me to look out the window and asked me what did I see. I told him buildings people and cars. Not what he wanted he asked me again pointing at a awesome looking bus stop and I told a bus stop and he said no I see your art there. I looked at him and said that's not my art.

After a super long motivational conversation he told me he wants me to quit to start up my own company and that he would write me a check to cover the cost of a small officespace. That was 4 months ago and now I have over 30 clients scattered throughout japan and growing. I have 40 workers under me including my wife who is next to me. Each day I wake up and thank mr. Ushida for what he has done for me. We make enough money that I dont have to worry about what's going to happen now. So this man is like a father to me. Not to mention his wife and my wife love each other.

Was I a mistake

Was I easy to erase from your life? Was I nothing more then just a means to escape reality and when you find it again am i thrown back to the wind. Am i back on the back burner like i want to be with the fire on low or am I thrown away into the trash where i belong?

Did you flatter me with your words so i wouldn't take my own life? Or were they sincere words that you meant?

Why is it that I am blocked from your life yet all the others before me are kept so close.

Do you hate me that much because last we spoke you said you didn't was that a lie too?

Am I not forgiven? Or will this be forever am I no longer in your life, am I no longer to love you? Is it that I grew some more and built something more sound again?

Should my heart no longer beat for you? Should I no longer love you?  Is this new life of yours no longer one i can be a part of.

Should i have died all those months ago should i have discarded your letter and just died?

Should I have just thrown all your stuff away, or donated it away and left it at that?

Was I that easy to delete? Out of sight out of mind?

Did the time we spent together no longer hold a place in your heart?

Do I still own that important part of your heart? The one you spoke so highly of? What of the promises we made to each other do those not carry any weight?

Am I just holding onto broken promises that have no meaning?

Was I really that easy to delete, erase and forget.

I never got why I am blocked and forgotten.

Is it wrong to love you the way I do?

Ever changing

It's sad that you're not here. To see me now, to see the things I've done. To see the success that I've gained, you're not here to experience the world that I've seen, to try the new foods that are made. It's sad that you're here to see my couple of mistakes.

It hurts my soul for you not to see the man that I am. To see the smiles and the friends that I've made. To not experience the better me the ever growing me, the always accepting me. It's not fair that you can't be here to see the sights that I see. To wake up with the ocean near your backyard.

You're not here to try the new experiences that I try, to see s whole new world.

Its sad that you can't be part of my new life, to smile with me to evolve with me.

It's not fair to know I'm not a thought in your mind, it's not fair that I can't put a smile on your face. It's not fair that I have to wait again. It's not fair that I see the ocean without you. It's not fair that you think I pushed you away. Its not fair that i cant see your face. It's not fair that I can't share my new self with you yet. It's not fair that i just want to grow old with you.

Do you (WIP)

Do I ever cross your mind as you do mine

Do you ever still think about traveling the world with me. Just throwing caution to the wind, and coming with me to the lands of new wonders.

Do you ever miss those nights when we would hold each other, and enjoy the conversation.

Do you ever miss my voice as I miss yours.

Do you ever think about calling me and just talk to me like I would like to do.

Do you ever miss it when i would stare at your beauty and not say anything.

Do you miss it when I  would pet you gently when we watch markiplier.

Do you miss it when it was our stuff and not mine and yours.

Do you ever think about me as I do you.

K8

Hey LB,

How are you I hope your happy and doing well, I know you must really hate me and despise me. Yet I still care about you. I know I shouldn't and I'm sorry but you play such a big role in my life that I cant forget you. How could I throw you to the wind, even during my travels I carry you with me. It's funny really, sometimes I find myself staring off into space thinking about you and how much you would enjoy the scenes that I see.

Yet I know your happy where you are, I'm glad and sad at the same time. Because your not far from my hometown, and I think you would have liked seeing it, and even hearing the crazy adventures of high school me.

I hope your bf is taking care of you, and makes you laugh, holds you and feeds you when your not well.

Traveling between two places is fun but exhausting I think that is why I sleep so much. I get back to PCB and I fall asleep for like 24 hours straight. Ridiculous right not to mention cleaning a cut wound isn't easy. It stings and burns and I hate it. Yet I feel relieved to be in bed, to try and rest up so I can get stuff done once again. I really want to get a two bedroom but no place is renting them out right now. So a one bedroom is nice.

I'll be back in Washington july 13-21 to get all our stuff and bring it back and set it all up, cause I need my drawing tablets and books again. I'm designing tshirts and the money is going to charity too. So I am trying to figure all that out.

I hope your not mad at me or hate me, I'm doing what you told me and working hard. That's when the tshirt idea hit me.

Smokey is doing fine he misses us, my grandma was telling me he sits by the window, and stares at it all the time and waits for us to show up. So when I go back in July I'll be getting his papers too and trying out that animal service thing you told me about.

One thing I learned about this state people need money way to much, i see why you have that mind set now. I'm like ummm ok y'all need to chill out it's ok. It's funny but it also annoys me at the same time.

I know you hate that i talk about demi now but she's my best friend but not as close to me as you are, and since I cant travel with you I take her with me, honestly i think you both will get along, i mean you got along with Amanda, so I know you two will get along great.

I got to travel to Miami again and see some of the party scene which is cool but not for me, I met a client and entertained him and his wife for the night just so I can get them to let me redesign their company. Anyway that was a 8hour drive there and back.

I have a friend that's coming down for a month because they need a lil vacation from his family so I offered up my place though I'm like meh just stay out of the captain crunch.

I'll have to show you the new tshirt designs when they are done and I hope you can tell me which ones, you think will work and which ones wont.

Sorry for this being so long but I hope your doing well I hope he is treating you well, and you aren't stressed out which I doubt.  It's you and I know he is spoiling you like a queen.

My dad asks about you all the time, I dont know what to tell him, so I change the subject he really likes you and misses you.

Anyway I love you miss you......sorry for saying that but I'll be here.....

So I got stabbed

So me and Demi decided to go out to her favorite restaurant which is really expensive but it makes her happy. We were having one last night put before we head back to work for a while (we cant always vacation, I mean we can but we shouldn't). So we ate and left, we take the train a lot since its faster. She has a car but the train is cheaper. Moving on.

We were heading out to the station we were laughing and having fun ya know the simple life.

This guy stumbles over to us, asks us for god knows what? Like literally we don't know what he wanted he said something to me and I'm like I dont know what you said then I look over at demi and she's like I dont know I think he's drunk, and I'm like yea guess so. Then we move away from him and the idiot decided to grab for her bag which made her scream and I ended up going on reflex and pushed him, and he pushed me back and grabbed onto to me.

We ended up in a quarrel like we were fighting and my instincts took over (seeing how I do must thai, and I box, and kickboxing). So I'm kicking him behind the knee and we at this point struggling down a alleyway (my first mistake). I could hear demi calling out to me and at this point I am like so far in the zone that all I could think of was getting this dude to let me go. Eventually his knee gives out from my kicks and he like keeps his grip on me and we go down to the ground and I get the upper hand and get to my feet.

(Mistake number 2) I looked back at demi who was calling the cops looking at me. So I wound up looking back to this guy at this point he has a knife like no joke dude had a knife and in my mind im like time to leave but then I thought of demi and this dude was crazy and then (mistake number 3) I stood my ground and we really got it on. During the scuffle he cut me I'm huffed up on adrenaline, and I wanted to protect demi so I kept fighting him.

I was like nope nope nope I grabbed him, and fought him off with my knees and my elbows and low kicks (I was not going to let his hands get free.). Eventually he gave up and took off.

I was like holy crap this dude was on a whole new level, the cops showed up like 5 min later and we gave them a report I was praised and then scolded for taking action, and I'm like well yea I got it.

Then that's when the cop told me I was cut and bleeding I was like wow I didn't noticed. I looked at demi who was wide eyed and looking like I dont know she just looked horrified. The cops gave us a ride to the hospital,

I went in and demi stayed outside I walk over and get checked in and sit down. I'm like over here bleeding like it's not stopping like not stopping at this time I'm over here like thinking about food and the dinner, Demi comes in and sits down right next to me and doesnt say anything I was like wow I'm in a hospital for being cut and I laughed and she didnt say anything or even looked at me.

At this point I can feel the blood going down my chest and my back and it's cold. So it was like 5 min and I was in the back room sitting in on a bed talking to the nurse who kept asking questions and I'm making her laugh and she made me stretch my arm up and down and making sure no nerves were cut and then they looked me over to see if I was cut all over again. I was making them laugh the doctor, nurses and others around us. Turns out my collar bone saved my arm and I'm like skinny boy powers never fail.

Then came the bad part I had to get a tetnis shot again (I hate shots and needles). Then they patched me up and was like you dont need stitches all you need to do is clean this 2 to 3 times a day, if you have any discoloration, and pus come back and I'm like deal you cant take it back.

I come out and takashi, and his wife Karin are looking at me and I'm like what I miss. We were talking about the incident and I'm like guys guys I'm cool I'm leaving in about 5 days I'll survive.

The drive home was me making jokes and them laughing everyone but demi was laughing she wouldn't look at me nor hold my hand.

Then we get to the house and I'm like well this shirt is ruined (I really Liked that shirt demi bought it for me and it was white so that blood wasnt coming out.).

So I ended up taking off the shirt and walking back to the room, all i did was take my pants off and the tears fell like non stop she was in tears like full blown tears crying snot and loud. I sat there and tried to comfort her and when I did get her to calm down she was like:

Why did I do that why did I put my life in danger like that. All he wanted was her purse and she would have gave it to him. All I had to do was just give it to him. It was just stuff it could have been replaced but I cant I shouldn't go throwing my life away.

I told her that it's her stuff and that I'll protect her and her stuff. I can be replaced that if I died no one will care that I was gone in one week you will never remember me. Besides what kind of man would I be if something happened to you, he could have took your purse then killed you, or me. If I have that split second to save your life then I will take it, and I would rather you use that life i saved then i would you want you to smile and be happy. I would rather die being brave then live like a coward.

Then she cried and yelled and called me stupid that my life is important I shouldn't try to take on a armed guy, what if he had a gun, what if he shot me and what then.

I was like if it's not in the head I'll fight him and make sure you get away.

She cried harder and got even more upset and called me a moron and she hoped my cut gets infected.

So yea I basically got stabbed so if you havent seem the photos you should check them out. Cause this hurts like crazy and I'm kinda crippled. That and I'm returning back to PCB with a knife wound. Yaaaaaaaa going back to work with a knife wound.