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Home

Home can come in many forms, a shelter, a object, or a person. When your away from home you feel lost, you feel like you aren't safe anymore. You feel like you are drowning, and no one is there to save you. No matter who attempts to make you a new home, it's not the same your comfort level just isn't enough to say that you feel safe. So you begin to develop symptoms that you've never had before; depression, anxieties, paranoia, and so many more things you never thought you had. You try to find a new home, somewhere/something/someone that can replace your new home, but each thing just doesn't feel right to you. They aren't what your use to, they don't have that reassurance that comfort. In fact you can't deal with the problems that it gives you. Some say just give it time, but you know sometimes you can't. So your in a panic, you feel exposed no light at the end of the tunnel. At any moment someone or something is going to get you, and your not quite ready for it. Like being told horrible news and your home isn't there to run to for safety and comfort, or you thinking becomes off, and your no longer able to think rationally anymore. They say you should step outside your comfort zone, try new things, but what they don't tell you is how far should you leave home. How far outside of your safe zone should you go? Why should you leave home, why leave that object/person behind, or get a new one when it's given you so much comfort, when it keeps the danger away, when it keeps you together like fulfilling a OCD. So you sit there at the front door of your home, waiting to be let in again, and craving that object of desire. You won't leave, you know no matter what people say or how much or how far they pull you away, your just going to come back to it. You know where home is they don't, we all have different versions of home. So no one will think about what it is your talking about. To all you people who don't know what one means when they say its like home, just know that it may not be the place that they lay their head. To the people out there who feel like they aren't safe, like your so far from home, you feel like at any moment your going to break, like your going to die, like you just want to kill yourself. Your not alone out there, so many of us feel like you do. Just stay with it, just stay with your home no matter what.