Katie/Lovebug 2

Katie/Lovebug (2)

I think I will start off by saying, hello how are you doing today. I hope you ate something (gotta make sure that you are eating well). Your on my mind like always my adorable little anime girl (like always). When I do get to talk to you I feel so much better, I feel like I am home again (like my post), I feel calm and feel like I can focus again. I know we both are going through rough times now (me not seeing or talking to you, and you and your you know what). So I want you to know this because I think you have forgotten this.

Your not alone anymore so you don't have to face the dangers anymore. You have me now! I am not going anywhere anytime soon (other then moving to Florida with you which has been decided). I want you to understand no matter what you aren't taking advantage of me and you don't have to work your ass off because that is why I am here, I told you I was going to take care of you, no matter what. Even if you lose your mind and memories; I will remember everything and we will make new memories. Even if your body shuts down on you and you become a vegetable I will keep you alive no matter what (can't promise I won't eat you). You always tell me that you don't want to be a bother to me that's why you bottle up everything and never tell me, stop that because when you worry and have a problem I worry and have a problem. That problem is whatever your problem is and my worry is what your worry is.

I hate it when you tell me you are not my responsibility, and that's why you say you don't do somethings. Listen you are my responsibility, that's the reason why I am still standing here with you. If I found you to be a bother financially I would have never of offered to take care of you. I told you I made a promise to god, your papa, and your grandma that I would take care of you, make you my main responsibility. I know I fucked up, and I have been haunted by it ever since but YOU ARE MY RESPONSIBILITY so stop thinking you shouldn't be. If I didn't want you to be then I wouldn't take the time or effort to even try to communicate with you or even get the new phone or anything like that. You are a priority to me, therefore you are a responsibility to me.

They say when you are in love with someone you do crazy things. They also say when your in love you make sacrifices. I honestly don't think you have ever had a guy be in love with you so.......Yea I am in love with you despite all this, I do honestly love you. Way much more then my ex before you, I feel like you don't have faith or trust in me. Which hurts me a lot because I have faith and trust in you. Despite my mood swings and feelings toward right now. I honestly do love you, that's why I am waiting (which is new to me) otherwise I would be gone, yet here I am standing here waiting for you, so I can continue my life. You think your no good for me because you don't want to ruin my life, but you see it's my life and I want it to be ruined by you, no one else just you. So I am willing to sacrifice my life in Washington for one in Florida. That's where you are in Florida, you told me you want to live by the beach though I hate the ocean and fear of drowning, but for the sake of your smiles, and happiness I will sacrifice my fear for you. You are worth the sacrifices! Don't think even for a second that your not because you are. I am in love with you, I honestly believe you are worth the sacrifices. Nothing will change my mind about that.

You act like you have to face your family alone, but you don't have to because I am here. I understand how it feels to have a family like yours. When you call me I will explain to you why it is that I will stand up for you in front of them. If they need money just call me, I will wire it to them, if they want you to clean their house let me know and when I come down there I will always always clean it to help you out. If they yell at you they are yelling at me too. If they annoy you then I will deal with it.

You keep thinking you are a bother, and you run from me, but your not a bother to me. I just want you to understand that I can handle everything you can throw at me. I was told to grow up, stop acting childish. Well here it is me growing up, and knowing what it is that I want, which is to spend my life with you. If you were a bother then why would I go out of my way to try and get you to notice me, why would I sit here with mood swings and getting annoyed when I can't hear from you. Or why do you think I want to add you on Facebook and why would I go out of my way to read all our messages over and over. If you were a bother I wouldn't do that, I wouldn't be in love with you, I wouldn't be sitting here waiting. I would be off somewhere else doing I don't knitting or making pot holders (whatever the hell that is).

You keep saying you don't want to hurt me, but to me I feel like its the other way around. I feel like your scared that your going to be alone, or scare me off. I feel like you think you have to many flaws and disorders (I have mine as well) that would make you annoy me. Your wrong Katie, I can handle them so I am not leaving you, nor will I leave you alone. I can handle the bi-polar, split personality, depression. I can handle it, I know I couldn't before but when you were gone, I learned how to if I was ever going to be a good husband for you. I know you will hurt me, I know you will say things to hurt me, but you know what bring it on.

Please stop knocking me because you think you aren't worth it, please know that if I want someone to ruin my life I want it to be you. I honestly do love you, I honestly wish you would have faith and trust in me to let me help you. I know 19 years of your life was hard, but you don't have to let it be hard if you let me in completely as I did you. I know I can make it easy or die trying to. Your perfect to me ( I know you hate that word, but I don't know any other word to use). I just don't want you to forget that you have me here, you have my undivided attention. I want to take care of you, I want you to be my responsibility, I don't care about anything else. I will sacrifice it, and start again (I want to open a new company in Florida with you). I don't like it when you think you need to face things alone because I am right next to you willing to tear if apart if I need to.

You also should read Kagetora, because you remind me of Yuki so much >.>.

Katie you deserve to be taken care of, and I want to do that. I want you to be part of my family too because they will take care of you as well. So don't think you aren't worth anything to me because if you weren't I wouldn't be waiting here for you, nor will I be writing about you and to you everyday. Don't push me away, don't think that I should move on because of your doubts. I can't because you are worth it I can't think of a day that I don't need you, besides you told me you needed me, that's why I am putting all my faith and trust in you. You've done something that others have tried to do, get me to feel, get me to tell them how I feel. If I let you break me down and rebuild me, then let me do the same. Let me continue to give you my strength to press on. You don't have anything to be scared of anymore because I am right here, and I will protect you.