To a loving wife

It never goes away the pain. I am sorry to put it that way but it doesnt, right when you think it's gone it comes back ten fold hitting you in new spots. The things that you once did for them things that are built in like a program in a computer, are now obsolete, and you find yourself doing it out of habit now. It's not a good feeling, so you find relief behind a bottle and a gun, trying to finger when would be the best time to just end it. Should you leave a note or just do it. Thoughts that go in your head, you saunter off into your memories and the pain hits you harder. The memories are way more vivid then you think. The pain intensifies and you feel alone, which sucks because in your darkest moments that person your partner is there to brighten up your world and make things brighter for you, and you love them so much for it, so much you find it difficult to be without them, you want to grow with them you want to evolve with them.

So it's never easy, you wake up with a soaked pillow, your dropping weight, and your mind isn't in the game. You feel like your never safe no matter where you go. Food taste horrible no matter who cooks it.

The sad part about this is they dont care, they say things like "it wasn't easy for me" "I didnt want to" "I still care" but deep down you know it's a lie, because they want to play the victim, so what do you do? Do you do snap at them over it or play the victim yourself. They never want to talk anymore it has to be one sided that's just how humans are, some of us just dont evolve or learn, while others will listen and try to make it right. But just like in the business world you can get the short end of the stick lies.

While we suffer they are out there with a new mate, and it will hurt and drive you crazy they post pictures up of them with captions that say omg I'm so happy in a way. And we have to swallow it bitterly. Which sucks for us because we were once in those photos, smiling with them.  as badly as we want to change it we can't, we can either accept what we did and try to be happy again which from what I seen isn't always possible or we can wait to talk to them again which a lot of people dont do because they feel like they it's stupid but to me I think it's cute that's loyalty.

Some food for thought, when you truly love someone the things they do i.e. making coffee, cooking dinner. Will never be the same when someone else does it. The food tastes ok or bland, or you feel like something is missing, or the coffee tastes weird. Yet when you recall when your partner made it, it was perfect each time no matter how big or small it is it is always perfect, the perfect sandwich, the perfect coffee, the perfect burrito. It's always perfect, no matter what you make it will never be perfect the new spouse will always make ok food compared to us, or to them.

So I ask to you what will you do go down a path of useless and unhappy relationships or do you wait for them so you can create something new.