Do you

Do you ever find it hard to get up in the mornings, to even get your eyes open and be all up and about like a happy go lucky camp counselor, it's just annoying prying myself out of bed everyday having to be reminded that I need to go to work. When all I want to do is just lay there and do nothing.

Do you ever just not like being conscious. Like being sleep or dead just feels better for you? I can relate to that, I hate being conscious I self destruct now, I get anxiety attacks, panic attacks, my depression is back as well. They say your suppose to do something to distract yourself and you should do something you like but it doesn't work for me anymore all it does is cause me to stress out even more then before I can't focus on anything anymore.

I start to shake uncontrollably, I wake up drenched in sweat, and I have the biggest headache ever. I'm not going to lie but I'm beginning to forget things simple to complex.

Do you ever just want to just kill yourself just so you have to feel this pain anymore the thought has been on my mind for three days now and honestly I just about to do it.