Its been fun

It was fun for the last 15 years, designing but now its just to stressful for me I can barely text on my phone without getting drained. I think this is my limit now. After everything that has happened I realized that my creativity and imagination has now dried up. Trying to come up with new designs or even following tutorials or just simple stuff hurts my head I can't focus on anything. Funny thing is I haven't gotten the chance to create the work to top all of my work, but oh well it was fun. I am not saying I am moving on to something better its just that I have nothing left. I literally have nothing left for me.

It sucks I didn't think that it would happen to me like this, or ever but I lost my focus, and lost my concentration, my motivation is shot, and now I am just a nobody once again.

I left some of my graphic design groups and had to answer so many questions and this is the first time in my life I felt so stressed so tired, like I couldn't keep up.

I just can't do it anymore, I don't want to enter the contests, I don't want to be a designer I just want to be left alone, I don't want to travel anymore, I just want silence, I want my dog, and my love bug thats it but I can't have that so I can't focus I have nothing to fight for anymore, and I just can't keep calm anymore, I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks, I feel like I am having a heart attack, I feel like I don't want to do anything anymore which I don't.

So thank you for the wonderful 15 years Thank you MicroSmith, Adobe, Daz3D, Japan (nippon), my friends on Kik, thank you Play station, Most of all thank you Clover Park Technical College for the best 2 years of my life.

Now I just want to figure out what I want to do in life, and where I want to go because now my road I set is no longer there.