Dazed

Long nights no rest, same dream, cold sweat. Same images, same day dreams, I am lost in the sea of memories. I caught a glimpse of you, you look happy with him. I dream the same thing us on the beach smiling and giggling. I wake up thinking your next to me, my bed has never felt so empty. I strum on the guitar to calm myself down but when I look up I still see you in that chair smiling at me. I feel my mind slipping away traveling doesnt help me anymore the escape I had is no longer an escape for it was you to be here with me. I hide myself from the world and yet I still remember, the final night the last kiss. I can make this right I can make you happy, I'm slowing falling more and more apart, death doesnt come for me it wont let me die. From behind the pills that I took were not enough to put me to rest I just want to sleep again I want to feel ok. 9 months in my mind of everything I did, I saw my errors I live the mistakes more scars on the flesh, more bruises are showing. Alone forgotten, not even a hello. Not a good bye but a give up that gives me hope. Words that tell me it's really and forever over never spoke. Yet I am filled with happiness, and still I pray for that overdose to work. Your happy I'm not in an never forget you, getting over you is impossible a lifetime commitment. Ashame lost confused same dreams your voice I do not hear for my dream wont allow it. Fragile we both are but in two different ways, I am not me without you here. 9 months of wanting you of providing for you. Now alone my bed is empty I dont have a home no where to go. Bed filled with strangers but they can not replace you, quick you are to forget about me, though I hold a message that you always tell me. Yet your not here and that's what I want I want to live far from here with you by my side. For without you I am empty dry, yet I can not hear from you or know you read this. My feelings for you are the same, my mind has been made up I miss you I love you and what you dont get is how much you are wrong i need you for you are my joy my bestfriend my wife, and partner. I need you to tell me where I should go.